maybe you’re not addicted to your phone

what a 10 day Vipassana (silent meditation course) taught me

We see everywhere that we’re addicted to our phones. Articles titled ‘How to cure your phone addiction’ and ‘How your phone addiction is ruining your life.’ But I have some news for you that may actually bring you a little bit of relief.

In 2023 I joined Substack to share what I learned during Vipassana. Vipassana is one of India’s oldest meditation techniques rediscovered by the Buddha 2500 years ago.

Vipassana involves 10 days of waking up at 4am by a bell. Meditating for 10-11 hours per day with nothing to distract you. No eye contact. No talking. No writing or reading and no phone. You have no communication with the outside world. You have 2 meals a day then a piece of fruit for dinner. You sleep in a dorm with 5 other people. The intention is mental purification without distraction. No instant gratification. It’s a clearing, a stripping back, a dopamine detox.

When I said I was going, I was met with a lot of questions and resistance from my loved ones - understandably. But I’d been mulling it over for 2 years and heard from a friend about their recent experience which was net-positive. I think sometimes we’re a little too comfortable these days and I wanted to push myself mentally (and physically it seemed).

This experience emphasised the importance of time alone. Although you alternate between meditating in your room and the hall and you’re never truly alone, the experience is designed to be inward-focused. Hence the no eye-contact and no speaking rule. You can go and speak to the teacher in an allotted slot once per day, but I only did so one time near the beginning, their responses are minimal and simple. Coming away from it I felt really at peace with spending more time by myself, more so than before.

Anyway. The phone thing. What I came here to say is that you may not actually be addicted to your phone. At around day 11, the last day before you leave, you are given your phone back and are allowed to talk to the others. What was really interesting to me is that I didn’t miss my phone at all throughout the course and had no urge to go on it now I had it back either. I didn’t want to turn it back on. I didn’t want to communicate digitally.

I wanted to go back to London and throw my phone in the Thames immediately. I did not do that, of course. I realised how reliant I am on my phone in my day to day London life; navigation (Citymapper is a godsend); I taught yoga at a big chain and used an app to apply for cover classes, check guests in and log class numbers; communicating with my Mum who lived in a different city and various other pretty essential tasks. But what was important for me (and perhaps you) to note is that I didn’t relapse into doomscrolling once back in the normal flow of life. I intentionally went without it. I took walks to the park without it. I left it turned off unless I needed it. I let it die without immediately recharging it.

All of this is to say that maybe you’re not addicted to your phone. Maybe it’s just a habit. I think we throw the word addiction around too much. Chocolate. Cake. Phone. Words are powerful. Addiction is a serious subject and experience.

Maybe the distinction is small. You may say: ok, so what if it’s a habit over an addiction? Maybe either way, you can’t stop.

I’m not a psychologist in the field of overcoming doomscrolling but what I can share is what’s been really helpful for me.

Deleting the Instagram (also applies to TikTok) app and using it as desktop-only, or just trying not to go on it at all. Desktop loses its appeal and adds another layer of effort to access it.

Muting everyone’s stories who I don’t care to see the life of.

Replacing it with a really good book is a sure way to stop the doomscrolling.

Actually one of the keys is replacing, not quitting and hoping for the best.

Analog activities

Playing cards, cooking a meal from scratch (herbs and all), colouring books, paint-by-numbers, knitting or crocheting, buying a magazine, gardening, and headphone-free walks.

When you have accessible activities that are fun and off your phone, it makes the scrolling and seeing everyone else’s lives less fun and, honestly, less interesting. Replace the habit.

I no longer practice the Vipassana meditation technique, now I practice TM, but it was a valuable experience and one I’d recommend to anyone who feels called. I think you know when the timing is right. It will probably always feel a little intimidating or nerve-wracking, but that doesn’t mean it’s not for you.

Good luck.